There has been a lot written in the past twenty years about the effects of Emotional Intelligence as it relates to individual and collective effectiveness in the workplace. Emotional Intelligence is measured by one’s emotional quotient (EQ) in terms of one’s capability level in four competencies: Self-Awareness, Self-Management, Social Awareness and Relationship Management. Of these four general capabilities, Self-awareness is foundational to the mastery of Emotional Intelligence.
Why is Self-Awareness Important?
Knowing one’s self is the key to unlocking the greatest mystery we encounter in life – who we are and why we are here. Self-awareness is about discovering our innermost being; exploring what makes us tick; how we feel about this all and determining where we let it take us. The more technical definition of Self-awareness is “knowing who you are and understanding why we think, feel and behave the way we do.” Without a higher degree of this set of capabilities we are doomed to wander endlessly in a quagmire of our own emotions with little hope of escape and suffer the results of less than effective relationships.
Self-awareness is comprised of three specific capabilities: Emotional Self-awareness, Accurate Self-assessment and Self-confidence. A greater understanding of each of these capabilities will provide a basis for development.
Emotional Self-awareness is the recognition of one’s own feelings and how they affect one’s performance. The better you understand yourself, the better you are able to accept or change who you are. Being in the dark about yourself means that you will continue to get caught up in your own internal struggles and allow outside forces to mold and shape you.
Individuals who are capable in Accurate Self-assessment are acutely aware of their abilities and limitations, seek out feedback and learn from their mistakes, and know where they need to improve and when to work with others who have complementary strengths. Accurate Self-assessment was the competence found in virtually every “star performer” in a study of several hundred knowledge workers. The study found that those having greater Accurate Self-assessment capability were more likely to pay attention to all forms of feedback and make necessary modifications to their behavior in order to achieve their goals.
Self-confidence allows us to have a positive and realistic perception of ourselves and our abilities. It is characterized by personal attributes such as assertiveness, optimism, enthusiasm, affection, pride, independence, trust, the ability to handle criticism and emotional maturity. A balance in self-confidence, not too much or too little, is important and directly affects one’s opportunity to achieve success in any endeavor. As is true of all strengths, when taken to excess, they become liabilities.
These capabilities are difficult to develop and even more difficult to optimize. We all know of people who have difficulty recognizing their emotions, the triggers that cause them to respond emotionally, or who are handicapped by their emotions. Likewise, we know people who are misinformed or even “oblivious” about their abilities and limitations. They seem to avoid or ignore feedback and have little interest in improving. We also know people who are delusional in regard to a lack or over abundance of confidence.
How Do We Develop Self-Awareness?
Basically, developing Self-awareness is about being engaged in what is going on around us, being conscious to our feelings, and understanding the impact of those emotions on our ability to perform. Tips for becoming more Self-aware include:
- Be in touch with your own feelings … find time to be alone, know yourself and write down your thoughts.
- Practice reflective thinking. Journaling is an excellent way of doing this in a way that promotes reflection. Jot down key events, interactions that failed to meet expectations and cues (verbal, visual, physical) that suggest that your intentions were not achieved. Review these notes and seek clarification.
- Do not deny your feelings … recognize that feelings are not sins. Where needed, share your feelings with others. However, sharing with others does not mean total honesty in sharing all your thoughts and feelings on any subject or person. E.g., Know the maturity of your potential confidant … can he or she handle what you will be sharing? Exercise caution in revealing feelings or facts that may hurt others.
- Do not allow your feelings to dictate your behavior … set your own criteria on what you should and should not do. It is important to establish principles beforehand as to what to do when caught in such situations because emotions may dominate your being and rational thoughts go out the window!
- It has been said that one will never see a clearer reflection of themselves than that they see in the eye of a friend. Seek feedback from those that you are close to and trust. Encourage them to be open and candid.
- Where possible, make use of the many different assessments that are available in the marketplace. Many of these can be obtained at little cost. Take advantage of 360 degree assessments conducted at your workplace.
- Get the most out of performance reviews. Seek specific information that is relevant to building greater self-awareness.
Self-awareness is the basis for enhanced Emotional Intelligence. Emotional Intelligence has been found to be a more accurate and significant predictor of success in life than intellectual intelligence. Having a successful life, no matter how we each define that, is what we all aspire to achieve. Therefore, it stands to reason, that a well developed sense of Self-awareness will significantly contribute to that goal.
Self awareness in executive women is particularly important. Generally, these professional are juggling family, work, community service, and a relationship with their spouse. They do not want to compromise and sometimes this results in spending too little times developing their self awareness.
Executive women can partake in several simple activities to improve their self awareness. See: http://www.zenergytoday.wordpress.com